Fi vs. Fe: Are FPs More Private Than FJs?

The longer I study personality theory, the more I begin to notice flawed ways in which certain cognitive functions are rationalized and/or explained. Sometimes the rationale seems to make sense on the surface, but ultimately doesn’t measure up to reality. My focus in this article will be on a specific misunderstanding regarding Fi vs. Fe. Namely, is Fi, or Introverted Feeling, innately more private than Fe, or Extraverted Feeling? Are FPs more private than FJs?

As I’m sure you know, every cognitive function has a two possible orientations: extroversion and introversion. Typically, the best way to describe a cognitive function is to start with the simplest explanation and then build on it. With that in mind, the go-to way to explain the feeling functions is oftentimes this: Fi introverts feelings, while Fe extraverts feelings.

The logic is actually extremely straightforward, hence why so many people end up using it. Basically, if Fi is introverting feelings then obviously they aren’t expressing them. They internalize what they’re feeling, resulting in being extremely private individuals who only share with people they can connect with deeply. As a result, they can often come across as cold or stoic individuals.

If you’ve been into Myers-Briggs, the cognitive functions, the 16 types, or etcetera for any length of time, I’m sure you’ve heard this description of Fi. To be honest, I’ve actually fallen into that trap myself. If you were to scour our old articles, you could probably find Ryan and I using that logic occasionally.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that’s outright wrong. Fi users can certainly be extremely private. However, there are two incorrect assumptions that this logic results in.

1. Fe users are not private (since they’re extraverting feelings)
2. Fi users are never emotionally expressive people

I’m going to address each of these points individually to see whether or not this approach to explaining Fi vs. Fe holds up to reality.

Fe users are not private (since they’re extraverting feelings)

Comparing, for instance, an ESFJ to an ISFP will obviously make Fe users look more expressive, right? An ESFJ is extraverted, and oftentimes (although not always), that will result in them being socially extraverted. Naturally, a socially extraverted feeler will probably be more willing to express emotion than a socially introverted feeler… but what about comparing an ISFJ or an INFJ to an INFP or an ISFP? Is an INFP really more private than an INFJ? Not from what I’ve seen.

In my experience, someone who is socially introverted is generally more private than someone who is not. That makes sense, right? I’ve seen plenty of IXFJs who are quiet and private.

Okay, so what does it mean to be an Fe user? How can you be extraverting feelings and still be private? Well, that phrasing is actually a bit misleading. Extraversion in typology is object-oriented or objective. In other words, the focus is outside of self, on an external object, without subjective, personalized filtering. (For more information, read Objectivity vs. Subjectivity.) An Fe user is focused on the external emotional environment. These emotions that they’re focused on are not necessarily their own, although their emotions are often tied into the emotional well being of the external environment. Fe users are known for reflecting the atmosphere around them, which is not the same thing as sharing their own personal feelings with everyone. One can be private and still be emotionally expressive.

Of course, this leads straight into the next point…

Fi users are never emotionally expressive people

Building off of the logic from before, what about a socially extraverted Fi user? Can they be emotionally expressive? If you haven’t met one personally, the stereotypes alone seem to suggest that can be the case. In fact, many ENFP and ESFP descriptions often describe them as bubbly, enthusiastic, warm, passionate, and etc. The ones that tend to be a lot more stoic are usually the Fi dominants, because they are more likely to be socially introverted. (Notice, I said more likely. An EXFP can be socially introverted, and an IXFP can be socially extraverted.) Of course, as mentioned before, one can be expressive without sharing all of their deeply felt and private emotions. Some emotions are more surface level or shallow than others. An Fi user is certainly not guaranteed to a cold, reserved, or stoic individual. Some Fi users are really open about their feelings, whether on purpose (authenticity), or because they generally lack control over their emotions.

In reality, there are so many factors that go into whether or not someone is emotionally reserved. A prominent one is upbringing. Some people are encouraged to be more stoic, while others are encouraged to be warm and expressive. For instance, INFP and ISFP males sometimes feel pressured or compelled to act more like a stereotypical thinker. As a result, many IXFP men will act more stoic. In the reverse, women are sometimes encouraged to be more “feeling” which can result in their feeling function being emphasized or developed more quickly.

Another factor can be whether or not the Fi user has been hurt in the past. Some people are more trusting than others due to their life experiences. Those who are more trusting tend to be more willing to share themselves, while those who have a history of being betrayed or attacked will be much more hesitant and stand-offish.

In conclusion…

Ultimately, I view emotional expression to be more related to social extraversion, openness, self-confidence, or maybe even self-control. (There are people of all types who explode their emotions out on everyone.) An Fi user “introverting feelings” has more to do with introspection or self-evaluation. In other words, being closely in touch with their own feelings. Fi is a feeling-based introspection function. Fi users often describe having a strong memory for emotions because they “introvert feelings”. They internalize their emotional responses to things, build a value system with these personalized feelings in mind, and from there form their sense of self and identity.

In the reverse, Fe users often look to others to help interpret their emotions. Their focus is so often on the external environment that they can, at times, lose touch with their personal feelings or misunderstand (or misinterpret) their own motivations. (Don’t get me wrong; this does not make them more selfless than an Fi user. Fi and Fe are equally likely to be selfish or selfless. It’s more a matter of framing.)

The bottom line here is that Fi users aren’t cold or stoic by nature, just like Fe users aren’t the only ones that’ll ever be warm.