ENXP/ESXP: Am I an F or a T?

There are many unfair stereotypes out there which have essentially labelled thinkers as callous, logical geniuses, whilst proclaiming feelers to be empathetic, moral, emotional-wrecks. Naturally, it can make it extremely difficult to tell with any kind of certainty which type you are if you’re focusing on such polarizing extremes. Thinkers are not inherently mean or intelligent. Feelers are not inherently kind or moral.

The ENFP, ENTP, ESFP, and ESTP share something in common which can make this typing dilemma especially challenging for them: their thinking and feeling functions (ie: judging functions) are sandwiched in the middle of their function stack. Their cognitive function stacks are listed below for your reference.

ENTP: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si
ENFP: Ne-Fi-Te-Si
ESTP: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni
ESFP: Se-Fi-Te-Ni

Having one’s judging functions in the middle of their function stack makes it challenging to determine whether one is a thinker or feeler because the two functions are often working together somewhat symbiotically, or smoothly. It’s often easier to switch between the two functions, and fairly easy to consciously focus on either at will. Additionally, they aren’t over-emphasized like one’s dominant function. In other words, an ENFP may at times feel very much like a thinker, whilst almost just often feeling like a feeler. Even though Fi-Te and Ti-Fe are in reality very different, it can be easy to confuse the two, especially in this scenario. So, we’re going to run through some of the things that we look for when attempting to differentiate an auxiliary Fi and tertiary Te from auxiliary Ti and tertiary Fe. But first…

BEWARE OF BIAS

As mentioned earlier, there are many unfair stereotypes out there. We’ve seen many feelers attempt to make themselves into thinkers, because of the unfortunate belief that feelers can’t be logical or rational. It’s less common (although not impossible) for thinkers to be biased toward being a feeler, because there seem to be more positive stereotypes surrounding thinkers. So, if you’re reading this article in an attempt to determine your own type, please recognize any biases that you may have and attempt to set them aside for the sake of pinpointing your actual personality type. Being an Fi user doesn’t mean you can’t be logical and that you’ll always be drowning in tears and drama. Maturity and life experience play a huge role in how Fi will surface.

Quick Prerequisite Note

Having Fi does not make one moral. Morality is completely separate from your personality. Cognitive functions merely define one’s cognition, or how they reason and prioritize information. Actual values and ethics can vary greatly.

The Differences

1. Defining Identity

Since Ti and Fi are identity functions, we’re going to start here. Fi is more a classic sense of identity. Fi users find it important to be emotionally honest with themselves and others. They decide who they are and what they want to be based on what is most emotionally consistent with themselves. They tend to more consciously search themselves, deeming identity to be extremely important. They can label themselves, but they hate it when people place labels on them. Only they have the right to decide who they are. They often feel frustrated and misunderstood by those who define them incorrectly.

On the other hand, Ti users often don’t deem the concept of identity to be important, unless going through a rare identity crisis. The average high Ti user won’t feel as concerned with self-definition or labels. They are what they think. The way they are defined will usually be left up to Fe. So, to define who they are, they will evaluate the feedback that they receive from others and determine whether or not it is logically consistent with their actions and personality. There may be certain ways that they hate being defined, but they as a whole are less concerned with being seen a certain way.

See Do Ti Users Lack Identity? and Is Fi Absolute? to read more on Ti and Fi perspectives on identity.

2. Authenticity

Because of Fi being both an identity function and feeling function all wrapped into one, Fi users tend to want to portray their real self to the world. Confident EXFPs tend take on an “unapologetically themselves” attitude. Obviously, this doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be obnoxious (although they could be). Feeling functions are generally concerned with harmony, so a socially-intelligent EXFP won’t readily disrupt harmony. However, they’ll deem it important to act as emotionally-consistent with themselves as they can, and will be less focused on social rules.

In contrast, many EXTPs may readily use Fe as a means to mask who they are. We’re not saying that they will be inauthentic (although they could be). However, EXTPs tend to be less in touch with their own emotions, and tend to be less concerned with displaying a specific identity to the world, since that is not something on the forefront of their mind. This could lead to chameleon-like behaviors (for utility, privacy, or harmony), or generally acting in a way that is inconsistent with themselves for the sake of crafting a specific social image.

While EXFPs often merge harmony with authenticity (as part of their values), EXTPs often desire to share their thoughts, opinions, and potential “logic” without having to run them through an emotional/social filter, making the authentic EXTP more prone to disregarding social harmony and (intentionally or unintentionally) stirring up controversy (due to being a low feeler).

3. Empathy/Emotions

This should seem fairly obvious based on everything said thus far, but EXFPs should naturally be more empathetic and in touch with their emotions, since they have a higher feeling function. Now, obviously the highly emotional EXFP is not going to confuse themselves with the EXTP, so let me take this approach. The level-headed EXFP, who is in touch with their tertiary Te, may seem like a thinker. Auxiliary Fi isn’t always focused on heavily, and can be used as a more subconscious support for the dominant function. However, the key is to look at your entire life, where you started and how you matured. The EXFP will mature into Te, while the EXTP will mature into Fe. Healthy EXFPs should naturally form connections with others, consciously desire a deep connection with others, be honest about their feelings, and be fairly confident in their ability to empathize or understand others.

EXTPs tend to feel more disconnected from their emotions, and tend to be less confident in their feeling function. Some EXTPs express a delay in processing their emotions, while others simplistically recognize what they’re feeling fairly quickly, but don’t like to dwell on it. However, either way, many tend to express a lack of confidence in understanding what others are feeling. They can be good at connecting with others, and mirroring to respond appropriately, but empathy tends to be more of a point of stress for them. As a whole, they tend to be less relationship-focused than EXFPs, which is not to say that they won’t desire friends, but thinkers generally tend to disregard or deny their need for others, as part of their denial of their own emotions. The narcissistic or unhealthy EXTP may use their Fe for emotional manipulation (and take pride in their ability to do so) or may use their Fe to stir up unnecessary drama/conflict.

4. Tertiary Desire

We are naturally focused in on what our cognitive functions gear us toward, and we subconsciously desire to be good at our lower functions. EXFPs tend to either see themselves as being good at physical organization, or they desire to be good at physical organization.

EXTPs, on the other hand, have Fe which is focused on social order. They may desire to be better with people, at playing the social game. They may wish to see themselves as counselors or advisors.

People naturally like to be seen as good at these lower functions, so, if the EXXP is frequently talking about how good they are at organizing, they’re an EXFP. If they’re constantly talking about how good they are with people or counseling others, they’re likely an EXTP.

5. When Commanding/Controlling

EXFPs tend to excel at being both blunt and likeable at the same time. They’re prone to throwing out opinions suddenly, but doing it in such a way that it comes off more lighthearted rather than offensive. EXFPs which are heavily utilizing their Te may get overly pushy in attempt to convince someone close to them to take what they’ve deemed to be the best course of action. They may readily and constantly share their opinion in an attempt to convince someone of the right course of action.

EXTPs will lean into Fe when commanding others. They may be entirely uninterested in bossing others around due to lack of a desire to control their physical environment. However, when they do decide to do so, you’ll likely see more of an attempt to charm the person, or make them want to listen. They might use logic combined with emotional manipulation to convince the person to see their side of things. If they resort to being openly commanding, it’s likely to be extremely sharp and without any regard to emotion.

6. When Planning

EXFPs, with their tertiary Te, will desire an actionable plan, meaning a step by step process to ensure efficiency and the desired end result. As mentioned earlier, this doesn’t mean they’ll be good at doing this, but they could be. It all depends on where they’re at in their development. However, either way, when launching themselves at a goal, that is what they will desire and strive to create.

EXTPs, with their auxiliary Ti, want more of a general idea to work toward. A step by step process will be seen as unnecessary, so long as they know what they’re aiming for. This is partially why the EXTPs can, at times, seem less rigid than EXFPs: less of an inherent need for a specific plan and physical control of the external.

7. Arguments/Debates

EXFPs who are in touch with their Te tend to value external sources of information as a means to prove or solidify their stance in an argument. This is because they naturally place value on what is verifiable. Now, you might think that this sounds like a sensor’s preference for the concrete, but there’s a difference between the concrete (S) and what has been verified by a knowledgeable authority. However, bear in mind, that this doesn’t mean EXFPs will accept everything they heard from every potential external source. They will still evaluate what makes the most sense to them.

EXTPs on the other hand lean heavily on their internal logic. They’ll more readily dismiss external sources out of hand, and primarily use their own reason as a means to convince others. Referencing outside sources won’t be as automatic, but instead they’ll lean more heavily on relaying their own personal understanding to you. TPs are naturally more dismissive of “facts”.

8. Charisma

EXFPs tend to display their charisma by drawing attention to themselves and their capabilities. They will naturally want to assert how well that they can do something or proclaim indiscriminately that they can do it better than anyone else. When being charming and charismatic, they will again make themselves the focal point of their humor so they may be more prone to making fun of themselves in some outlandish way for a laugh or be prone to some form of exaggerated self-deprecation to endear themselves to others.

EXTPs in comparison tend to display their charisma by drawing attention away from themselves or by drawing in others for comparison. When dealing with an individual, they may come across as very warm, depending on how in touch they are with their feeling function. However, they are also prone to using others as props to bolster their own appearance, and may more naturally draw attention to some one else’s shortcomings to accentuate their own strength. In attempt to endear themselves to the group, they will be more prone to cracking a joke at someone else’s expense rather than their own. They will strive to come across as the witty, wise-cracking one in an effort to be charming. (This could just be lighthearted teasing which no one takes seriously.) If they become the butt of the joke, they’re more likely attempt to turn the group’s unfavorable attention onto someone else, rather than justifying themselves.