6 Signs an INFJ is Actually an Fi User

Ah, the INFJ. Statistics claim that they are rare, which automatically makes a large portion of the population want to be one. This is one of the many reasons why I hate the statistics. Their existence doesn’t appear to do anything, but create factions and mistypes within the MBTI community.

Unfortunately, since INFJ is probably the most preferred type, especially among feelers, a lot of people accidentally mistype as one, whether that be out of lack of self-awareness, lack of objectivity, or ignorance of cognitive function theory. It ultimately makes no difference, since it all results in the same thing: a hoard of mistyped INFJs.

Coming across someone who is very obviously mistyped can be frustrating for various reasons. Honestly, in my case, it’s mostly frustrating when the person is passing themselves off as some kind of expert when it is so blatantly obvious that they themselves are, in fact, mistyped. However, with that said, just because you encounter someone who is mistyped, it doesn’t mean you should confront them about it… for a couple of different reasons.

1. If you have had minimal interaction with said person, whether online or offline, you could be wrong. That person could be putting up a persona, mimicking behavior contrary to their type, or could just be a rare version of their type. A single snapshot of one’s behavior can’t determine their type absolutely – I use this word hesitantly since personality theory is far from “absolute.” You understood my point though, right?
2. Jumping down someone’s throat over their personality type is largely pointless. It’s just not worth the effort 99% of the time. Of course, it’s also not nice (the ISTP adds quickly), and we should be nice to others. >.>

I know a lot of people out there are skeptical about whether or not it’s even possible to type someone online or as a third party observing them. However, the way people speak, what they say, how they choose to say it, the wording they use, how many words they use, and the general desires or frustrations that they express can provide a glimpse into the way they think, which is ultimately what the cognitive functions define. Talk to someone long enough, and you most certainly can, at the very least, narrow down their type if you understand cognitive function theory.

The Most Common Mistype

INFPs most commonly mistype as INFJs, which is why I’ve geared this article toward the Fi users (which means INFP, ISFP, ESFP, and ENFP). However, it’s not outside the realm of possibility for any of the 16 types to mistype as an INFJ, although for some it would be incredibly and ridiculously unlikely. I would theorize that the most likely personalities to mistype as an INFJ (next to the INFP, of course) would be the ISFJ, ENFJ, ISFP, and INTJ. If you’re between ISFJ and INFJ, try Si vs. Ni: 5 Main Differences. If you’re between INTJ and INFJ, try ISXJ/INXJ: Am I a Te or Fe auxiliary?

Before we begin…

I’m specifically listing traits that are contrary to standard INFJ behavior. Is it possible for an INFJ to display some of these? Perhaps. However, if that is the case, the INFJ in question will be a rarer version of the INFJ. Ergo, if an INFJ is displaying many of these, the INFJ is most likely mistyped. If you’re reading this as an INFJ and you find yourself relating, it may be worth re-evaluating yourself. You could still be an INFJ, but you also might not be. Do you truly know yourself?

The Signs

1. Strong sense of pride in being one of the rare INFJs

Am I saying that an INFJ can never be proud of being an INFJ? No. However, high Fi users take pride in their identity, in being unique and distinct from everyone else. What could be better than the “rarest” of all types?  On the other hand, the INFJs, with auxiliary Fe, have more of a desire to blend in, not stand out. A mature or confident INFJ can certainly learn to embrace their uniqueness, but beware the person who views being an INFJ as a badge of honor. There’s a ground rule that goes something like this: If you want to be an INFJ, you probably aren’t one. Now, I’m not saying that an INFJ will loathe their type; but if someone has an overwhelmingly clear desire to be an INFJ, they may not actually be one.

2. Taking offense at the suggestion of being mistyped

I’m not trying to offend, but Fi dominants are kind of renowned for this. High Fi users are known for being in touch with themselves, their emotions and their values. Of course, as mentioned, their pride tends to become wrapped in their identity, or their own perception of their identity. I’ve interacted with Fi users on several occasions who essentially got offended when I suggested that their type was something other than either what they wanted or what they thought it was. I’ve also seen Fi users get offended when the type of someone whom they idealized was question (whether that be a significant other, a celebrity, etc.)

A typical INFJ will not get immediately obstinate when an alternate type for them is suggested. For starters, their auxiliary function (Fe) drives them to seek external harmony, in comparison to an Fi user wanting inner harmony. An INFJ won’t actually want to argue with you. They may ask questions and seek to discuss it, essentially to deepen their understanding. However, they probably won’t react strongly to the “accusation”.

3. Willingness to to share their emotional struggles with the world

This section is going to apply the most to the Fi dominants. I’m not saying that they’re weepy, weak, fragile, or any of that junk. However, Fi users tend to create high or overly idealist standards for themselves based on their desired self-image or identity. When someone fails their own high standards, they can become very self-loathing. They’re prone to being incredibly hard on themselves and feeling like failures. That’s where the depressed and moody stereotypes come from. They’re also more confident in their own feelings, since Fi is their dominant, essentially viewing it like they have a right to feel what they feel. Ergo, due to a confidence in their inner feelings, they are more likely to express them or share them with the others. Additionally, their nearly instantaneous awareness of their own feelings may result in those feelings leaking out accidentally from time to time (including negative ones). They’re not prone to mixing up other people’s feelings with their own, like the INFJs are. They tend to naturally over-analyze themselves and their emotions.

Obviously, I’m not saying that the INFJs can’t get depressed, hate themselves, or be moody. They also can feel like failures as result of their Ni. Ni can envision and set an unrealistic goal for them to achieve, which will result in them feeling like failures. However, their feeling function is Fe, which means that analyzing their own emotions will be much slower and more exhausting process, since Fi is not in their stack. (They will be using Ti to analyze self which is a lower use function for them.) The average INFJ will struggle to understand their own emotions (or differentiate them from everyone else’s), which makes them even less likely to display them in public. People say that Fe is more emotionally expressive, which to a degree is true. However, that doesn’t mean that auxiliary Fe users are expressing their deep inner emotions. INFJs are typically reflecting emotions in the environment and trying to create a harmonious atmosphere. Ergo, you’re not frequently going to see them display a lot of their own negative emotion in a public (or even a forum) setting. They, on average, will want to appear either more detached, analytical, or reflective of the current social environment.

4. Overemphasis on feeling misunderstood or being unique

Fi users tend to complain that no one understands them, which goes back to them being wrapped up in personal identity and analyzing self. They want to understand who they are, and they want other people to understand who they are. They tend to overly emphasize how unique they are, or hard to understand. As mentioned, they want to portray their own true, unique self to the world.

I spoke to an INFJ who specifically told me that this was not the case for INFJs. They only want you to see the side of them that they choose to share. As mentioned earlier, Fe ultimately desires to fit in with the social environment. INFJs are naturally inclined to want to put up a public persona or a front. I’m not saying that they’ll necessarily be fake (although some may be prone to that), but they may put on different personas depending on the needs of the situation. They’ll generally be aware that the way they are in public is separate from their inner self, but they won’t necessarily be bothered by this, or feel the urge to change it.

5. Absolute and unchanging values and opinions

Fi/Te users tend to hold absolute opinions. They’re stubborn, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. They tend to know who they are and what they think. While they may not enjoy external conflict, they’re not driven by a need to maintain external harmony. They need inner harmony, harmony with self. When push comes to shove, an Fi user will NOT compromise or adapt to someone else for the sake of harmony. They will remain true to themselves.

On the other hand, Fe/Ti needs external harmony. While they’ll obviously have some absolute opinions and standards (we all do), they’ll probably be less defined than the Fi user’s values, and as a whole, will be a lot more open to discussion. INFJs should appear more hesitant, in a sense, and not nearly as quick to make a public judgement call on what is right or wrong. If push comes to shove (unless an extreme inner value is triggered), they’ll yield to the external social environment in an effort to maintain harmony. (This doesn’t mean they’ll alter their values to align with everyone; they’ll just keep them concealed or yield when possible so as not to cause an issue.)

6. Antagonistic when presenting opinions

To clarify: what I’m about to talk about is UNHEALTHY or IMMATURE behavior. It will not and should not apply to all Fi users. However, if you ever run across an “INFJ”, that is frequently throwing out statements like “ha ha, you’re wrong” or ‘I’m sorry, but you’re wrong” in a debate type setting, it’s highly unlikely that the person is an INFJ. That antagonistic, abrasive, and absolute style of expressing opinions is contrary to their nature. Sure, as stated in the previous section, there may be certain core values that’ll trigger a strong reaction in an INFJ; but as a whole, this will not be their default behavior.

An INFJ who is called out or essentially “antagonized” will likely default to passive aggression or general avoidance. (I’m saying this as someone who once said a stupid thing online to an INFJ and saw the result.) That is more of their nature. They want external harmony. Ergo, an INFJ will not be going around inciting conflict or looking to start an argument with their very strong opinions. That type of behavior is going to be incredibly unlikely. However, an unhealthy or imbalanced Fi user with an unstable low Te function might.

In conclusion…

Once again, I’m not encouraging anyone to start calling out a bunch of mistyped INFJs. However, there is a value in learning how the various functions manifest in both a positive and negative way, especially if you wish to increase your personality typing skills. That is the mission of this blog, after all.