ENXJ/ESXJ: Am I an Fe or Te dominant?

Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish the difference between a Te and Fe dominant after having a surface level interaction with them. They both tend to find themselves in similar positions or situations at times, which can for some people lead to incorrect assumptions about their personality. What’s important to pay attention to is not what positions they find themselves in as much as why they ended up in those positions. What is their motivation? What approach do they take to dealing with people and problems? Finding out the answers to those kinds of questions will be much more insightful than making an assumption that all managers are Te or all people who find themselves in care giving roles are Fe. Here are 6 differences between the two types.

The Differences

1. General feel and attitude:

Often times Te dominants can come off as very blunt in the way they talk and in their general attitude toward other people. They don’t tend to sugar coat things or otherwise ensure that people’s feelings don’t get hurt. This isn’t to say that Te doms do not care about other people, but rather that they are much more prone to taking the ‘tough love’ approach. They will be willing to become the bad guy or the person someone will resent if they feel it’s for that person’s own good. They oftentimes will expect people to just do what they say and don’t really put a lot of energy into convincing people of why they should want to do something.

Fe doms frequently come off as warm and inviting people. They seem to have an almost motherly or fatherly way about them when dealing with other people. They will readily show you that they care about you, and they will want you to accept and be grateful for their care. They would much rather coerce/convince you that you want to do something rather than just ordering you to do it. Unlike the Te doms, they want you to understand that they care for you, and they don’t want to be seen as the bad guy.

2. What they want as leaders:

Te wants to be in control of a group, respected, and in some cases, feared. They will lead their group with whatever tactics they think are most effective. This can lead to them enforcing harsh conditions on those under them. In a leadership position, they will be very results oriented and will be more focused with squeezing more productivity out of whatever they are in charge of. The happiness and well being of those under them can possibly suffer as a result.

Fe wants love, admiration, and devotion. As a leader they will be seeking the praise and approval of those under them. This does not necessarily mean that they will be a pushover, rather in some cases they may ostracize dissenters inside of their group who are not giving them the approval they feel they are due. They may convince everyone that they are devoted to a cause, but sometimes that cause is so closely tied to themselves that the devotion is really to them. In the process of gaining power, they will most likely go about it in the ‘nice’ way, trying to sway the minds and opinions of those around them. They ideally would like to win over the group and have the group promote them to the position of power, rather than seizing it by some other means.

3. How they are with plans:

Te plans tend to be absolute and concrete in nature. They will not abandon their structure readily for the sake of someone else. You will probably end up having to work around their schedule and plans rather than them working around yours. They will easily say no, and they tend to not be guilted by others into changing their minds. This is to say most of the time a Te dom will be difficult to emotionally manipulate, especially if you’re trying to make them feel bad for you.

Fe is more chaotic in daily life, and their schedule is more readily altered for the sake of others. Fe will do more in the way of trying to work with other people to find what works best for both parties. Their schedules and plans are more naturally based around people and are inherently more flexible as a result.

4. What they choose to organize:

What Te tends to organize is themselves and those things in their physical environment. They will have a structure to their own daily schedule and for those things around them like their home, office, etc. By extension, they will end up organizing the people in their lives to a degree as well.

Fe focus isn’t about ordering their environment as it is about organizing people and relationships. Healthy Fe users are the social mavens and matchmakers. They organize other people’s social lives. As a result, you will find that a Fe user will have a very structured and laid out social life, even if their physical life isn’t super organized.

5. How they network:

Te meets others by necessity. They will be searching for mutually beneficial relationships. They will probably not be randomly socializing and adding people to their group for no reason.

Fe meets people more by choice. Fe users, for the most part, are good at networking. They have a desire for a social group so they will devote time and effort into creating one for themselves.

6. What their motivations are:

Te is results motivated. If you find that someone’s underlying drive or motivation ties back to results, there is a good chance they have high Te use. They frequently come up with motivations centered around making things more efficient or streamlining things to give themselves more time. Te reasoning dictates that “if I solve problems and make things more efficient, that will make everyone happier.”

Fe is people motivated. If you find that a person frequently phrases their reasoning like “I’m doing this for someone because…” or other phrases the tie back to people, there is a good chance that they have high Fe use. Fe reasoning dictates that “if I can make everyone understand each other and create harmony in the group, that will make everyone happier.”