5 ENFP Struggles, Growth, and Development Tips

Every individual has a different path to follow for personal growth and development, and their personality type, such as ENFP, plays a significant factor. I’m going to try to focus on continuing this series, since it is an extremely valuable subject to address. After all, self-development is one of the most beneficial uses of any personality system.

For the record, I’m only covering five struggles, because the length of this article would end up massive if I tried to cover more. Don’t worry; I’m not saying that the ENFP has an extra special amount of problems and development needs that they deal with compared to the other types. I did the same thing in my 5 INFP Struggles and Development Tips and 5 ISFP Struggles and Development Tips articles. Five seemed to be about the right length, given the level of depth that I wanted to cover, so I’m going to continue the pattern. If you have other struggles that you wish to share, I welcome your feedback in the comments, and maybe one day, I’ll make a “ENFP Struggles, Growth, and Development Tips, Part 2“.

DISCLAIMER

To be clear, not every ENFP is the same. I’m going to try to cover the most common struggles that I’ve noticed among ENFPs, given their cognitive function stack. However, everyone develops slightly different, due to their own unique life circumstances. As a result, an ENFP might find that they do not relate to every struggle that I’m going to list. That’s perfectly fine, and actually suggests good things about the ENFP’s current level of development, assuming that they are typed correctly. Some of this information will also not be exclusive to ENFPs, even though ENFP development is the focus of this article. There is often overlap in how different types need to develop, given function stack similarities, etc. Another personality type may relate to some of this in spite of not being an ENFP.

The ENFP’s Cognitive Function Stack

An ENFP has the four following cognitive functions in order: Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Thinking (Te), and Introverted Sensing (Si). The shorthand for this is Ne-Fi-Te-Si.

Any personality type’s struggles and subsequent development needs (including the ENFP) is often due to the imbalance within their cognitive function stack. Functions come in pairs, and the pairs operate as a scale, so to speak, with each cognitive function at an opposite end. In other words, Ne in the dominant position results in an over-reliance on Ne, which causes inferior Si weaknesses or insecurities. As such, the development path for any personality type is typically to strengthen their lower two functions, and occasionally the auxiliary as well, if looping has been a struggle. As we continue on down the article, I’ll tie each weakness I cover to its related function imbalance, and offer possible suggestions for development.

5 ENFP Struggles, Growth, and Development Tips

1. Struggle to be decisive and narrow down possibilities

Ne feeds its user possibility after possibility, especially when in the dominant position. ENFP’s often struggle to narrow down their options, because they naturally see an ever-expanding amount of possibilities. Sometimes, ENFP’s are even resistant to ruling out possibilities, because they don’t want to close themselves off to potential options. Subsequently, this leads to inaction due to excessive speculation. In this situation, the ENFP is over-emphasizing (or leaning too heavily on) Ne. They may constantly research or discuss possibilities with others, but their inferior Si fails to weed out unrealistic ideas, and their judging functions (Fi/Te) fail to initiate any kind of decisive action.

Development Tips:

Tip #1: Come up with objective criteria for narrowing your options down (like for potential careers). Ask an individual who is competent and experienced in the subject to help, if you need ideas.

Tip #2: Write out the possibilities, including pros and cons for each one. Depending on the situation, you could also include a bullet list of logic that supports or counters certain conclusions.
Basically, get it outside your head, to combat looping back around to the same possibilities over and over again. Then, rationally narrow down to the most viable one (possibly using that objective criteria from Tip #1).

Tip #3: If physically exploring the idea (or dabbling) is an option, like if you’re trying to figure out a career, then dabble. Take a class, or learn a related skill. See what fits. Remember: ENFPs need to explore the real world to develop their Fi. Without Fi, they won’t know what they want, or what will bring them meaning, so it’ll be practically impossible to make a satisfying decision. Test out your ideas to hone your ability to generate ones that are realistic and viable for YOU.

Tip #4: Start thinking long term (Si). If you remain in your current situation, you will endlessly spin in circles, never going anywhere. Generating up possibilities is worthless if you can never act on any of them. Where do you want to be in a few months? in a year? in 5 years? You can’t get there without acting.

2. Failure to take meaningful action or be consistent in the long term

This situation is actually, in many ways, the stark opposite of the previous point. Some ENFPs fall prey to a state of “useless action”, due to over-emphasizing Ne AND Te. In other words, they get stuck in a Ne-Te loop. They’ll still see all the possibilities, but feel compelled to dabble a little in each one, without dedicating enough time to any particular one. The ENFP will quickly get bored (or frustrated with) whatever idea they are currently testing out, and rapidly jump to the next idea. As a result, they’ll have mostly shallow interests or skills, not specializing in anything in particular. The ENFP in this state will be both indecisive and decisive, in a sense, because they keep changing their mind and wanting to try something new. They’ll lack any kind of follow through, or consistency. This state also makes the ENFP prone to making dumb, impulsive decisions.

Development Tips:

Tip #1: To escape a Ne-Te loop, you need to develop your auxiliary Fi. Slow down and introspect. What are your values? What gives you meaning or purpose? What motivates you to stick with something? You need to find something that resonates with your core self, or you won’t find it in you to stick with it.

Tip #2: If you find something you truly want to stick with, ask a friend or family member to keep you accountable.

Tip #3: Routines are your friend. However, trying to commit to a constant, unchanging routine might be far too boring. Consider a rotating schedule or routine that periodically switches things up, like exact times or order of operations. For instance, you can spend a week focusing on one thing, and the next week on something else. (As long as you continually loop back around so that you can make consistent progress.)

Tip #4: Avoid drastic changes all at once, since those are typically hard to stick with. Micro changes will be easy. Incorporate small lifestyle changes into your daily life with the idea that they will become subconscious over time.

Tip #5: Before deciding to commit to something, consider the realistic, daily impact that decision will have. Talk to someone for advice. Make a list. The goal is not to go in blind, so that you can avoid giving up when you’re hit by the reality of your decision later.

3. Being overly optimistic or overly pessimistic

Ne is stereotyped as being innately optimistic. This is false. Ne actually caters to the preferred (or default) mindset of the individual. In other words, the pessimistic ENFP will generate seemingly endless hypothetical scenarios that are negative, while the optimistic ENFP will fixate on scenarios that are positive. Some ENFPs are hopelessly optimistic, while some are hopeless pessimistic. To be honest, I often see ENFPs fall into one of these two extremes. It can be hard to strike a middle ground, because of how Ne thinks. Bottom line: many ENFPs struggle to be realistic, whether that means they skew negative or positive.

Development Tip:

Tip#1: Unfortunately, this tendency will be hard to break, since the mind often does what it wants to do. It may help if you find a confidante who is objective or possess a mindset that’s different from yours, to help balance your thinking and check your scenarios against reality.

4. Fearful of the real, concrete world

Nowadays, the internet has provided a way for extraverts to outlet that was not previously possible. It makes it especially easy for Ne users to explore concepts and ideas while simultaneously avoid any concrete interaction with the world. This can cater to their natural desire to explore, while failing to provide them with practical life experience that would allow them to confidently navigate the world. Many use this safe haven as a crutch, preferring to endlessly explore the world and all its possibilities from the safety of their bedroom. They fall into isolation, and grow fearful of the real world and their ability to cope with it.

Development Tips:

Tip #1: You need to reconnect with the world. For instance, find a way to implement a skill in the real world. Perhaps look into joining a social group focused on one of your hobbies. Volunteer in your community. Meet up with a friend. Establish a time to regularly get out of the house.

Tip #2: If there’s something specific you want to work toward in the longterm, make a step-by-step action plan. Get advice from someone with experience, if applicable.

Remember: Overcoming fear requires facing it. You will never gain confidence in yourself if you continue to hide, and you will never be satisfied hiding away forever, not making a meaningful impact.

5. Being emotionally impulsive

NFs are generally prone to idealism. Combine that with a dominant extraverted perceiver, like the ENFP, and you have a recipe for emotionally impulsive decisions. They can get swept up in the heat of the moment, and make emotional decisions that they end up regretting. For instance, this can involve making an emotional commitment that they’re not ready to make, or burning a bridge with someone in their life, without allowing adequate time to process. They can also end up getting taken advantage of, because they want to see people in the best possible light.

Development Tip:

Tip #1: You need to train yourself to slow down and think. Step away from a situation temporarily before doing anything that’ll be hard to take back. Get advice from those you trust, who can remain detached and objective.