5 INFP Struggles and Development Tips

Self-development is one of the most important uses of any personality system. Oftentimes, personality systems are used poorly, to do things like excuse bad behavior. Naturally, that’s easier than actually using them for self-improvement. Since you’ve stumbled onto this INFP development page, hopefully you’re striving to use this system in a more impactful way.

Ryan and I are extremely analytical people. As such, we’ve focused heavily on teaching the underlying thought patterns behind each of the 16 personality types with the hope of loosening the hold that stereotypes have on the system. We’ve wanted to balance the scales between all the types, and present a more realistic perspective. However, with that being our primary emphasis, we’ve failed to dedicate much time to self-development. I’m hoping this article on INFP struggles and development tips will be another step in the right direction.

Disclaimer

To be clear, not every INFP is the same. I’m going to try to cover general tendencies and struggles an INFP may have given their cognitive function stack. However, you may not have some of these tendencies, depending on how your life has gone thus far. Some of this information will also not be exclusive to INFPs, even though INFP development is the focus of this article. There is often overlap in how different types need to develop, given function stack similarities and etc. Another personality type may relate to some of this in spite of not being an INFP.

The INFP’s Cognitive Function Stack

An INFP has the four following cognitive functions in order: Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Sensing (Si), and Extraverted Thinking (Te). The shorthand for this is Fi-Ne-Si-Te.

Any personality type’s struggles and subsequent development needs is often due to the imbalance within their cognitive function stack. Functions come in pairs, and the pairs operate as a scale, so to speak, with each cognitive function at an opposite end. In other words, Fi in the dominant position results in an over-reliance on Fi which causes inferior Te weaknesses or insecurities. As such, the development path for any personality type is typically to strengthen their lower two functions, and occasionally the auxiliary as well, if looping has been a struggle. As we continue on down the article, I’ll tie each weakness I cover to its related function imbalance, and offer possible suggestions for development.

Please note that this article will be very similar to the ISFP version that we recently published, since both types share the same dominant and inferior functions. The imbalance between one’s dominant and inferior functions is usually their greatest source of trouble, which in this context, means that both types should relate very heavily to one another. (Oftentimes, our middle function pair works together a bit more cohesively, resulting in the two functions being more balanced and thus causing fewer issues overall.)

5 INFP Struggles and Development Tips

1. Over-emphasis on self-discovery or introspection

The INFP is basically the poster child for this particular problem. See, Fi is an extremely idealistic function, especially for a personality type like the INFP who lives in a world of never-ending possibilities. Their Fi leads them to introspect heavily on their identity and their feelings in order to determine what will bring them meaning. In the process, they form ideals about themselves and the world around them that are perfectly in sync with their feelings. For an INFP, self-discovery is a never-ending journey, and they continually re-evaluate who they are in order to ensure that they are remaining true to themselves and portraying themselves authentically to the world. Before they do anything, it must be filtered through their Fi. All of this combined can lead to an over-emphasis on introspection or self-discovery (Fi) and a devaluing of meaningful action (Ne, Te).

Over-emphasizing Fi in this manner can lead to indecision or failure to act in the real world, specifically when it comes to forming long term goals or defining a life path. After all, if you don’t know exactly who you are, how can you figure out what will give your life the most meaning? How can you know what will adhere to your most authentic self? How can you find the perfect fit?

Development Tip(s):

Get out of your head (Fi) or stop avoiding via distracting yourself with unrealistic dreams or fantasies (Fi-Ne). Honestly, all three of your lower functions need to activate to help you with this.

Tip #1: Gain real world experience in order to learn what is realistically possible for you (Ne, Te). Volunteer somewhere. Get a part-time job. Learn a new skill. Dabble in hobbies with real world potential. Ne is your exploration function, and can be extremely beneficial if it’s not being used to avoid the problem. Use it. Oftentimes, you can’t truly discover who you are until you get out of your comfort zone and go do something that may help you learn what your strengths and interests really are.

Tip #2: Start thinking long term (Si). You may be comfortable where you are now, but will you still want to be there a year from now? or 5 years from now? Is this current reality the one you want to carry on living in permanently? If not, then focus on how to move forward. Dreaming up possibilities is worthless if you can never act on any of them. Do research on the ideas running through your head, in order to help narrow down your options or discover better ones. You want them to not only appeal to your Fi, but be realistic for you. Keep track of what you learn. You don’t want to waste your time by retracing the same steps multiple times.

Tip #3: Come up with objective criteria (Te) with which to judge your options against. Determine which of your options are actually plausible and/or fulfills your required criteria. Your goal is to form a goal. If it’ll help, ask someone for advice who both knows you well and is reasonably successful in the real world.

Remember: Never moving forward will likely be worse than trying the wrong thing.

2. Being overly sensitive to criticism

Fi users often tie their creations, actions, thoughts, and etcetera to their identity. As such, sometimes they really struggle to handle criticism well, because they perceive it to be an attack on their identity. Obviously, criticism can be done the wrong way, and I’m not saying it’s always your fault for responding badly. Unfortunately, constructive criticism is necessary to grow in skill or make your ideas/ideals accessible or actionable in the real world.

Development Tip(s):

Tip: Try to change your perspective on criticism when you receive it, and open your mind to the possibility that perhaps the “criticizer” is earnestly trying to help you grow or improve. Some INFPs may believe that yielding to said criticism will mean straying from their identity or ideals. Evaluate honestly whether that is the case. Perhaps check in with a trusted friend to get a second opinion.

3. Struggle to be self-disciplined or motivated

Technically, discipline and motivation are two different things, but they often tie so closely together that I struggle to make these separate points. After all, when one is motivated, they can be disciplined, and when one is disciplined, they can often drum up motivation. Motivation is interesting because it technically can come from any and all functions in one’s stack. There are ways to “motivate” each individual function. Discipline usually ties to extraverted judging, which for an INFP, will be inferior Te.

Many INFPs struggle with things like discipline, consistency, and staying motivated for the long term. Some INFPs may have many projects that they want to work on, and find themselves fluttering between them, never landing on one long enough to make any real, meaningful progress. Other INFPs may struggle to find the motivation to start anything meaningful at all, finding security and satisfaction in merely playing out ideas or possibilities inside their mind.

Development Tip(s):

Tip #1: Remember that time is a valuable resource. You can waste it by doing nothing or waste it by doing too much. Don’t stretch yourself too thin, and don’t fail to try. You’ll find so much more enjoyment in seeing an idea come to fruition.

Tip #2: Ne users often find it easier to be motivated when they have multiple tasks to switch between. It gives them the variety they crave and prevents any one project from growing stale. Every project has a grinding phase, where you’re putting out a bunch of hard work with no exciting results yet. (For instance, learning a new skill often takes tons of practice which can be extremely monotonous after a while. However, it’s necessary to work through this to achieve that desired end result.) If you think switching between a few projects or tasks might give you some needed novelty to keep things interesting, give this a shot, but be moderate about it. Too much will halt progress.

Tip #3: Break your project or goal down into small or digestible steps to make progress easier and the whole ordeal less intimidating. Use planners or organizational tools if it’ll help you keep track of tasks/steps and visualize your progress.

Tip#4: Offer yourself rewards for completing steps or making a set amount of progress.

Tip #5: Ask a third party to hold you accountable for making progress.

Tip #6: Sometimes Si users, even tertiary Si users like the INFP, find it easier to make progress when they’ve settled into a routine. Granted, this routine may be somewhat diverse to prevent boredom. Try that out to see if it helps you achieve consistent progress.

Tip #7: If motivation or inspiration strikes, drop whatever you’re doing (if possible) and ride the wave. You’ll make significantly more progress in those times than when you’re forcing yourself to be productive. However, with that being said, don’t assume inspiration/motivation will strike because you may end up waiting around for nothing.

4. Being overwhelmed by too many possibilities, options, or details

Some INFPs constantly struggle to launch into action because they feel overwhelmed by the tidal wave of possibilities being presented to them by their Ne. They essentially fall prey to overthinking, as they are presented with possibility after possibility. The INFP may feel ill-equipped to choose, or fearful they may choose the wrong one. They may see an overabundance of negative outcomes, resulting in feelings of hopelessness and doom. Either way, this can result in the INFP giving up on Ne, and falling into a Fi-Si loop.

In case you are new to typology, an INFP loop occurs when they skip over their auxiliary Ne and lean too heavily on their tertiary Si. The result of looping on these two introverted functions (Fi-Si) is often excessive introspection and stagnation, as the INFP retreats fearfully into their comfort zone, never wanting to venture out. In such cases, auxiliary Ne needs to be developed.

Development Tip(s):

Tip #1: Remind yourself of your strengths. Go do something that you can do successfully.

Tip #2: Stop ignoring your Ne. You need to rationally filter through the possibilities to narrow down the best course of action. It may help to ask a trusted (and level-headed) friend or confidante to help you with this. Don’t go to someone who’ll just provide you with an echo chamber.

Tip #3: Ne is an extraverted exploration function, and cannot work well if it never allowed to check into reality. That may sound foreign to you, since Ne is often described as fantastical in nature, but believe it or not, it is an objective, externally focused function. So, you need to extravert. In other words, go explore. Find a way to be “adventurous” (whatever your definition of that word is). It can be something small, but anything that results in stepping out of your comfort zone will exercise your Ne and help increase your real world confidence. Examples are going to a new place, trying out a new skill, being spontaneous…

Remember: Not trying is still failing.

5. Acting without enough prior preparation

The INFP who’s confident in their Ne may struggle with impulsiveness. They may get excited by an idea or prospect and launch forward without paying enough attention to those pesky details. Of course, it might work out for the INFP in spite of that, but it also might result in failure. The INFP might hit a ton of roadblocks and give up due to discouragement, or the idea might crash and burn due to lack of adequate preparation. Ultimately, this is the result of weak Si, which is the function an INFP should be using for foresight and subsequent preparation. (Yes, Ne presents with future possibilities, but Si is responsible for narrowing these options so that the INFP knows where to focus their efforts.)

Development Tip(s):

Tip #1: This is obvious, but slow down. Try to anticipate what you might need later or what might happen later on, and prepare for the most realistic possibilities. Remember, a little advance planning may be the key to your idea being successful.

Tip #2: If you want general Si development tips, try something that encourages you to singularly anticipate the future, like strategy games, mysteries, etc. Producing a million possibilities is not helpful unless you can call upon your Si to help you narrow them down. Your task is to do something that’ll force you to practice choosing one.

In Conclusion…

I earnestly hope I did this subject justice. I welcome any thoughts or input you might have!