Fe vs. Te: Am I an FJ or a TJ?

At initial glance, you may wonder who confuses an FJ with a TJ. I mean, one is a thinker and one is a feeler, right? One has Extraverted Feeling (Fe) as one of their top two cognitive functions, while the other has Extraverted Thinking (Te). Shouldn’t an FJ be overflowing with emotions while a TJ is cold and callous? Well, actually, that’s not necessarily true. Obviously, the stereotypical extremes for both exists, so for some people, Fe vs. Te may be incredibly easy to distinguish, whether the person in question is yourself or someone else. However, sometimes the difference isn’t quite so obvious. In fact, it’s actually not uncommon for someone to ask: Am I an FJ or a TJ?

Fe vs. Te: What Are They?

Both Fe and Te are extraverted judging functions. As such, they both share some common traits because of the role that these two functions are playing. In short, this means both of these functions will be concerned with external order and controlling their surrounding environment. They will both have the instinct to first interact with the external world as a result. They will also both be willing to adapt themselves to fulfill an external need, albeit what this looks like for each can vary to a significant degree.

Gender Trends

Before we begin, it’s worth noting that gender can definitely affect how one’s personality type manifests. Sometimes we see TJ women learn to emulate Fe with their Te. When this happens, it’ll result in them struggling to relate to some of the classic descriptions of high Te. Inversely, FJ men sometimes see themselves as TJs, or get identified as such because they’ve developed that lower Ti or learned to lean into it. Of course, neither of these scenarios will overwrite their default cognition, but it can result in them having a greater access to their lower functions. In other words, they might be more balanced, and balanced people are often more difficult to type. Regardless, the differences we will go over shortly should help you learn to distinguish the FJs from TJs, but it may still be a challenge.

7 Differences Between an FJ and a TJ

1. Te wants the people to work for system, while Fe wants the system to work for the people

The labels “thinker” and “feeler” are misnomers. Ultimately, thinkers are focused on systems, while feelers are more focused on people. In other words, a TJ will naturally strive to create the most efficient system possible to achieve an end goal or solve a problem. This system may be for the good of the people, but sometimes they forget to take people into account when doing it. They may be unaware of the emotional impact the system has on its participants.

FJs are the opposite. Their focus is first and foremost on the people; the system will come secondary. A system that can’t work for it’s people, and keep them bonded and in harmony will be seen as counterproductive. This is why FJs aren’t known for being as orderly or structured as TJs. They will be more concerned with maintaining the emotional well-being of those within their group.

2. Te will forego social harmony to achieve an end goal, while Fe will discard efficiency for social harmony

First off, it’s worth mentioning that an “end goal” is sometimes just a problem that the Te user has identified and feels the need to solve. This could be a personal problem, a group problem or a problem that someone close to them has. (Sometimes it’s easy to lean into grandiose terms like “goal” and then forget to explain Te in a more down to earth way.) Regardless, this point once again highlights the main difference between what a thinking function fundamentally values highest versus what a feeling function values. While Te users are not always the abrasive stereotype that they are made out to be, they are usually willing to sacrifice social harmony if that’s what they feel it takes to get the job done. This doesn’t mean that Te users will automatically discard harmony, quite the opposite. Frequently, things run more efficiently if everyone is working together in harmony. Te users will value harmony, but it will be of secondary importance, if it is getting in the way of solving a problem or getting things done.

Fe users, on the other hand, are much more concerned with keeping a harmonious environment, where everyone stays on the same page and remains in general agreement. Even a mean Fe dominant will desire a surface level of harmony or forced harmony, if that’s what it takes. In their eyes, things cannot work properly if the people in the system are not getting along. Harmony is integral to success. They will seek it out even if it means the efficiency of the system is going to take a hit as a result. In other words, efficiency is of secondary importance due to the innate focus of Fe.

3. Te reads the emotional environment in a detached manner, while Fe feels the emotional environment

This one is an interesting one. Most think that Te users are completely oblivious to the emotional environment. That is a bit of a misunderstanding. Te can recognize emotions in their environment. However, they are viewed in more of a cause-and-effect manner rather than personally feeling everything that is going on. Te users tend to respond with actions that get the desired result rather than just mirroring the mood of the room with their own emotions. For this reason, Te users may not always respond in a way that others want or expect them to, but they can adjust when they identify what is happening and the negative result it is producing. However, they are not going to be interested in personally immersing themselves in all the feelings of the environment regularly.

Fe users, on the other hand, are much more prone to intuitively feeling everything that is going on in the room. They will feel much more apart of the emotional experience instead of viewing it as an outsider. For this reason, they will be much more likely to respond emotionally to the emotions of others, which is why they’re known for mirroring. This goes right along with that desire for harmony that was touched on before. If everyone is feeling the same thing, everyone is in harmony with each other. Fe users will focus more on understanding the reasons behind all of the emotions rather than just the end result of the emotions.

4. Te may see value in being well-liked, but Fe will often make that a core part of their approach to life

Just as Te users can see a value in social harmony, they can also see a value in being well-liked. (See The Dual Nature of Extraverted Thinking (Te) to explore this subject in depth). As explained above, Te users are not always abrasive brutes yelling at everyone they come across. Some are actually quite amiable and friendly. It’s even possible for a Te user to be conflict avoidant. Regardless, the point here is that Te users can and do incorporate being well-liked into their strategy to achieve their goal. If you wish to see some examples in fiction, check out Amy Santiago from Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Carlton Lassiter from Psych. However, for some Te users, this approach is simply a means to end, something they willingly discard in moments where it’s no longer necessary.

In contrast, getting along with others is often a way of life for an Fe user, a core value. They will strive to forge bonds with those around them because they need harmony within what group they’re a part of. Of course, we don’t mean to make it sound like an Fe user will always be outgoing or extraverted. However, even an introverted Fe user will strive to make a positive emotional impact on those around them, even if it’s just in small, unspoken ways. Overall, Fe users want to always be seen as ‘the good guy’ and that is not something they’ll want to discard for the sake of achieving a goal. (This doesn’t mean they’ll always be selfless or altruistic, but they’ll likely be extremely careful to protect their reputation as ‘the good guy’ or ‘your friend’.)

5. Te lays out clear, physical rules for everyone to follow, while Fe often relies on unspoken social convention

When it comes to ordering the social environment, Te tends to be much more willing to spell out all the rules to everyone involved. This is for two reasons. (1) It is frequently the most efficient way to get everyone on the same page. (2) They are not as concerned with offending someone by dropping the rule book on them. To the Te user, the rules are just what they are. Everyone needs to be aware of the core rules and abide by them so things can continue to function.

Fe rules tend to be more of the unspoken variety. Due to their desire for harmony, Fe users place more of an emphasis on being aware of what to do and what not to do without calling it out. These unspoken social rules are usually learned by following along with the rest of the group, being sensitive toward maintaining harmony, and being careful not to cause a stir. If someone isn’t “getting it”, Fe users are usually willing to step in and spell it out for the person in the interest of maintaining harmony within the greater group. (Overall, the unspoken nature of Fe described here is why Fe users are known for being passive aggressive.)

6. Te may invalidate emotions to achieve harmony, while Fe wants everyone to be unified in their feelings

While Te users do value harmony, they value it on a more cooperative level. This means that they will readily devalue their own emotions or the emotions of others in order to keep things running smoothly. Harmony for them isn’t necessarily about everyone feeling good. If feelings are getting in the way or causing a problem, frequently the answer to the problem will be to smother out the emotions. After all, if there’s no emotions, there’s no problem.

Fe users, on the other hand, value harmony for the purpose of ensuring that everyone can continue feeling positive things in each other’s presence. Harmony that constricts and forces others to bury or suppress their emotions is not viewed as true harmony. To them, harmony must allow space for everyone to feel and tolerate each other’s feelings. They want the group to come to a consensus and all feel the same way about something to achieve harmony.

7. Te needs emotional feedback to understand the external ramifications of their actions, while Fe needs emotional feedback to understand the internal ramifications

A pattern that we’ve noticed is that Te users tend to struggle more with understanding how their actions affects the people around them, due to not naturally being in tune with the emotional environment. If they value harmony in any way, shape, or form, Te users tend to appreciate people being straightforward with them in regards to this. In other words, they’ll appreciate when people let them know that what they’re doing is upsetting those around them. A Te user may feel blind in this regard, and may appreciate the feedback (if done in a straightforward, matter-of-fact manner, of course).

On the other hand, Fe users tend to be incredibly sensitive to emotional reactions of those around them, so they won’t tend to struggle in that way. Instead, Fe users tend to need other people to help them process their own emotions. We’re not really referring to venting here, because any type can appreciate venting their feelings to someone. Rather, for an Fe user, talking about their emotions (and effectively externalizing them with another human being) can help them understand what they’re feeling, why they’re feeling it, and what it means for them personally.