8 Differences Between Fi and Fe

This is our final installment of this series. The previous articles were 11 Differences Between Te and Ti Users, 11 Differences Between Si and Se Users, and 7 Differences Between Ne and Ni Users. (We’re clearly terrible at keeping up with the series, considering that it’s been almost two years since the first one.) As in the others, this article will be dedicated to explaining the differences between Fi and Fe, specifically high use. In other words, we’re writing this article with the dominant and auxiliary users in mind, which means the IXFJs, EXFJs, IXFPs, and EXFPs. Before we go on though, make sure you check out Introverted Judging Functions (Ti/Fi) and Extraverted Judging Functions (Fe/Te) if you haven’t already, to read general overviews of Fi and Fe.

Shared Characteristics

As with all of the dichotomy pairs, both feeling functions do share some general similarities, which is why many people can recognize that they are feelers, and just aren’t sure which kind. We actually have an entire article written on this subject, so we’re not going to go into it much in this one beyond hitting the general highlights. In short, all feelers are (or tend to be) value driven, conflict avoidant, emotionally intelligent, and people-focused. (When we say “people-focused”, we don’t mean social). Both can be selfish or ego-centric. If you wish to read more about this in depth, check out the article here: 5 Similarities Between Fi and Fe.

The Differences

As usual, it’s worth noting that people are distinct and varied (based on other factors like environment, and life experiences) so an Fi user may not relate to all of the Fi differences. Similarly, the Fe user might not relate to all of the Fe differences. However, as a general rule, one should relate to the majority of the traits for their specific cognitive function.

1. Fi prioritizes individual values, while Fe prioritizes group values

In making this point, we are by no means saying that Fi users are selfish, and Fe users have no identity. However, this is a key difference between Fi and Fe. Fi users form a set of core values that are tied closely to their identity. When faced, with conflicting values, they are more likely to stubbornly take a stance against said values, regardless of the group opinion. They can be a bit more classically rebellious, in that way, possessing a sort of inborn activist mentality, especially when they feel like their own personal identity is somehow threatened by a connection to that group. They are strongly individualist, and will naturally struggle against any perceived attempts to snuff out their individuality.

On the other hand, Fe users will more actively attempt to maintain harmony within their group. They may not agree with everything the group says, but they will feel a strong urge to operate within the group, and strive to find common ground. This may cause some people to perceive them as pushovers, but in reality they see a great advantage in having people working together in harmony and unison. They will speak out against the group, if the perceived danger is great enough. However, this will not be an easy decision on their part, and certainly won’t be their go-to response. Fe users will likely have an easier time maintaining a connection with a group that they do not entirely agree with, whereas an Fi user will be more eager to separate on principle.

2. Fi forms opinions relative to self, while Fe forms opinions with group in mind

Fi users look to self to form their own opinions. This doesn’t mean that they never seek advice, but ultimately, they will have an easier time forming an opinion quickly based on their own core values, without taking the group into account.

On the other hand, Fe users will tend to reserve their opinion while seeking out the opinion of the group and those around them. They will naturally look to others first, rather than taking a stance based solely on self. They will probably leave all but the most important preference opinions open and subject to change depending on certain context and scenarios.

3. Fi is more aware of self, while Fe is more aware of others

A key distinction between Fi and Fe is the direction of their emotional awareness. Fi is an introspective function, closely relating one’s emotions to one’s identity. As a result, Fi users (especially the dominants) tend to be in a constant state of self-searching. They strive to understand their core self and mold themselves into their ideal person. As a result, these types tend to be naturally aware of their own personal feelings, and tend to relate to others by somehow drawing a connection back to self. This sometimes causes them to project their own personal feelings onto someone else.

Whereas, Fe users are naturally more in tune with the emotions of those around them. They tend to naturally hone in on the emotional responses of others. They are sensitive to these responses, and are prone to adapting their behaviors accordingly. This may lead some people to call them doormats, since they tend to be more likely to go out of their way for someone else. Fe users tend to be naturally good at responding to others in an emotionally appropriate way, based on the perceived needs and expectations of the person in question.

4. Fi knows what they’re feeling, while Fe may mix up their feelings with the feelings of others

This point is remarkably similar to the previous point, which made me struggle a bit, but I felt this distinction needed to be called out. Due to everything explained earlier, Fi users typically have an easier time drawing a distinction between their own feelings, and the feeling of those around them. If they can’t feel it or empathize with it, they will struggle to produce an emotionally appropriate response. (Note: This does not mean that they can’t be negatively affected by a negative emotional environment.)

On the other hand, Fe users are greatly affected by their emotional environment to the point that they can occasionally lose sight of their own personal feelings. As a result, they tend to need to get away from everyone and everything in order to distinguish what they are personally feeling about something.

5. Both types are capable of empathy, just via different means

This point used to be different, but we felt the need to rewrite it recently, since our knowledge of the types have grown.

A battle seems to exist between feelers, over which is more empathetic. The FPs refers to the FJs as fake, while the FJs refer to the FPs as selfish or self-centered. When unhealthy, they can each lean in that direction. However, to be clear, all types are equally capable of both empathy and sympathy when emotionally mature.

The difference between two functions goes back to their focus. Fi is subjective, focused internally. Carl Jung describes the Fi type as seeming cold or detached in nature, because they’re disconnected from the emotional environment around them. However, if they can find a personal connection, a means to personally relate to whatever going on, FPs can be highly empathetic individuals. Otherwise, they may struggle to emotionally connect, and resort to mirroring the other person’s emotions as a way to preserve harmony.

Fe is externally focused. Many describe what FJs do as mirroring. We’ve even done so in the past. However, that term is somewhat depreciatory, since it fails to capture the depth of what the FJs are actually doing. FJs literally absorb the emotions in their surrounding environment, often to the extent that those emotions temporarily replace their own. As a result, in the moment, they can be highly empathetic, even though they may discover down the road, that the emotions they felt weren’t actually true to their own internal feelings or principles. Of course, it is possible for FJs, given certain circumstances, to fake empathy or mirror other people’s emotions rather than adopt them. (The lower Fe users, or TPs are the ones who tend to mirror emotions as a rule, rather than truly absorbing the other person’s emotions.)

Let’s say your dog died, and it causes you to cry. An FJ may easily cry when they come across you and see you crying, but it’ll be because the FJ is absorbing that current wave of emotion and expressing it themselves, as a result. They are feeling the feelings that you are portraying in the moment. In contrast, the FP will probably only cry if they too had a connection to the dog or if they had suffered a similar loss. If you matter to them, they will try to look inside themselves for a similar, relevant experience so that they can feel your pain. Ergo, when they relate to you, it is because they have felt the same grief and pain, allowing them to know exactly how you feel. Your tears do not actually trigger their tears, but instead, a personal connection to your experience.

6. Fi desires uniqueness, while Fe wants to fit in

Fi users desire to find a way to display their own uniqueness and individuality to the world. This may show up in the way they accessorize, share opinions, or actively attempt to distinguish themselves from others. Fi users tend to be the ones who’ll dress in non-traditional or eccentric ways, so that others can see who they are. Aux Fi users specifically will sometimes display wild or bold behavior that goes against the grain.

While Fe users may feel unique, that is ultimately not what they usually want. Sure, they can be secure in themselves and who they are. However, they typically have a deep-rooted desire to fit in with those around them. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to be fake, but that they only want people to see a certain facet of themselves. They will use Fe as a mask or a way to essentially act like a chameleon, so as not to create ripples within their environment.

7. Fi feels watched, while Fe feels invisible

This point applies specifically to the introverts. Please don’t take this one as an absolute or a science. It’s just a pattern that we’ve noticed. Fi users tend to be self-conscious because they fear that other people are watching them and noticing everything that they do. This is due to their naturally self-centered focus. (We mean this literally, and not negatively.) IE: If I’m aware of my own actions, so are others.

However, the aux Fe users tend to struggle with feelings of invisibility. Since they’re naturally good at mirroring others, masking their individual identity, and sacrificing personal needs for others, they tend to feel overlooked, underappreciated, and generally not noticed at all.

8. Fi (with low Te) can be very blunt in sharing opinions, while Fe (with low Ti) may be more passive aggressive

Fi users have low Te. When in touch with their Te, they can be very straightforward and confident in sharing their personal opinions. Secure Fi will be open to the opinions of others, without feeling the need to go on the defensive. However, when their Te is highly imbalanced or underdeveloped, it can result in sudden blunt or unnecessarily harsh responses rooted in personal insecurity. Essentially, it will lead to harsh over-reactions when they perceive that their opinion or belief is being threatened. They may become overbearing in an attempt to push their opinion onto someone else.

Fe users are prone to more passive aggressive type responses. If not at all in touch with Ti, they may always default to faking agreement, essentially in a constant state of sacrificing personal identity (or having no sense of personal identity at all). (Ti may also rationalize away their own opinion, giving credence to the group’s opinion.) However, when Ti is in a more active state, Fe users will find a way to passive aggressively slip in their own opinion, so that the other person is aware that they do not agree. However, they will likely do this in such a way that gives the appearance that they do not actually want to fight. A secure Fe user in touch with their Ti can oftentimes do this in a very diplomatic way and have a rational discussion with the other person, while a more insecure Fe user may respond in a more emotional manner, perceiving themselves as being attacked.

In conclusion…

We hope this was useful. If you see anything that could be added or perhaps adjusted slightly, feel free to share!