6 Introverted Feeling (Fi) Stereotypes

I originally sat down to write an article about a very specific Fi, or Introverted Feeling, stereotype, but as I started rambling, I realized that I was about to cover far more than just one. And thus, this article has been completely reorganized before it even began.

What is Introverted Feeling (Fi)?

For those who are new to the cognitive functions, Introverted Feeling, or Fi, is the one of the main cognitive functions for all of the FP types. INFPs and ISFPs have it as their dominant, or first function, while ENFPs and ESFPs have it as their auxiliary, or second, function. While the TJs have Fi low in their stack, this article really only applies to the high Fi users. The TJs will be afflicted by a completely different set of stereotypes since Te is essentially an opposite to Fi, a yin and yang relationship, so to speak.

Before I begin…

Let me warn you that this is not going to be the typical uplifting article on negative stereotypes one typically reads online. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you’ve probably noticed that neither Ryan nor I are big on fluff-filled inspirational pieces. It’s just not in my nature. My goal here is to produce a more balanced and realistic picture of Fi. It sometimes feels like Fi users either get overly-idealistic traits associated with them that only a certain breed of Fi can relate to, or they’re given a bunch of highly dramatized traits that are really just indicative of an unhealthy or immature Fi user. I’m not sure there is a whole lot out there for the mature Fi users, which is unfortunate. But anyways, let’s start going through some of the stereotypes I’ve seen.

1. Fi users are the selfish ones

I’ve seen people get locked into this idea that if a certain person is constantly grabbing for attention or talking about themselves, then that person must be an Fi user. Because, you know, Fe users are selfless martyrs focused purely on others, but Fi users are egocentric narcissists who can only focus on themselves. (I hope you can feel the sarcasm emanating from your screen. :P) Needless to say, that’s flat out ridiculous. Fe users can and will thrive on attention and the spotlight, just like Fi users can. We can all be selfish and egocentric.

Reality? Fi users are driven to understand themselves, so that they know how to approach the external world. They sort through their internal world to find who they are amongst all the noise and chaos surrounding them. To an Fi user, their personal identity is very important, and if they can determine what that is, it gives them a strong assurance of self, and confidence. Does any of this sound like selfishness? No. Do all Fi users want the spotlight on them? Certainly not. Insecure Fi users can be hypersensitive to the prospect of people looking at them or paying them too much attention. (Note: another tell-tale sign of an Fi user is someone that is frequently afraid that people are watching them and judging them when they have no rational reason for that to be the case. Ti/Fe introverts tend to feel invisible, not watched.) Once confident in themselves, Fi users can become at ease in the spotlight, because they are comfortable with themselves and unafraid to voice values that may be counter to the values of people around them.

So is there any truth to the stereotype? Well, there’s frequently a certain degree of truth to stereotypes, or a reason that it formed in the first place. I have spoken to several Fi users that openly admit that they struggle with selfishness… However, is that really an objective opinion or them just being hypersensitive to a personal flaw that the rest of us non-Fi folks ignore? Hard to say.

Here is the main reason Fi users may appear selfish: Fi users hold their own personal values above all else. (Note: values are not the same as morals, but more on that later.) Let me share a couple of thoughts on this subject.

• When seeking to define themselves, Fi users form core values or rules that they must abide by in order to remain true to themselves. These values become far more important to them than anything else. If they have to choose between you and their values, the standard Fi user will choose themselves every single time. If those values are “extreme”, then they will probably appear “extremely” selfish. However, an Fi user can (and many do) choose to include values of a more selfless nature as part of their internal identity. 
• Fi users who are in the process of sorting through their internal world, may want to be the focus of conversation when they are among close, trusted friends. It’s similar to how Ti users like to play devil’s advocate or argue in order to find their stance on a subject and sort out the logical inconsistencies. An Fi user may want an outside perspective or verbal outlet when sorting through their own identity, but that is not the same thing as frivolous attention seeking.

2. All narcissists will be Fi users

This assumption is beyond ridiculous, but I thought I’d throw it out there because apparently some people try to make this association.

3. Fi users will always be the moral ones

There is this common misconception that Fi users are the height of morality. According to the stereotypes… Ti users do not have morals. An Fe user’s morals are solely dependent on the values of the group (which based on this logic train, had to originally be formed by an Fi user). And, what distinguishes a Te user from an Fi user is that the Te user will have a moral code which he/she will likely cast aside at some point in their lifetime. So all morality originally spun out from Fi? Ha! No. Everyone has morals to some degree or another; everyone draws lines somewhere. An “anti-moral” is still a moral. If you think your lack of morals indicates that you don’t have high Fi, or the presence of morals in someone else indicates that they have high Fi, you need to go back to the drawing board, because you’re clearly drowning in stereotypes.

Remember what I said earlier? I believe it was: When seeking to define themselves, Fi users form core values or rules that they must abide by in order to remain true to themselves. For the sake of clarity, I’m going to grab an actual definition of the word “values”. While I’m at it, maybe I’ll grab two or three for variety’s sake.

Definition #1: In ethics, value denotes the degree of importance of some thing or action, with the aim of determining what actions are best to do or what way is best to live, or to describe the significance of different actions.

Definition #2: Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they’re probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.

Definition #3: Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person or organization. These guiding principles dictate behavior and can help people understand the difference between right and wrong. Core values also help companies to determine if they are on the right path and fulfilling their goals by creating an unwavering guide.

So what is a value? Something you deem to be important. A way to direct your actions and your path. A code to live by. No where in there does it say that you have to have positive or benevolent values. No where does it say that your values will help you be a good person. It merely says that your values will define the type of person that you want to be. You do realize that some people have no interest in being good people… right?

4. Fi users are always authentic

The word ‘authenticity’ is frequently used to define Fi. However, an Fi user can form a highly idealized vision of themselves, and fail to live up to it. When that happens, they do not always realize that who they want/claim to be is not the same as who they are (or how others view them.) Think about it this way. You see this perfect version of yourself, and you work really hard to maintain it. However, attempting to maintain a state of perfection can by exhausting. Everyone needs downtime, and everyone needs to relax. Where do we relax? At home or around intimate friends. If the relaxed version of an Fi user differs drastically from the idealized state that they are striving to maintain, those who know the Fi user intimately may believe that the Fi user is being inauthentic or fake. Some Fi users have extremely high personal standards. After all, they are known for being idealistic.

5. Fi users are hyper emotional, sensitive, weak, melodramatic, weepy… etc.

Can an Fi user get like this? Certainly. (Technically speaking, we all can. Just saying.) However, Fi, at it’s core, does not make someone emotional. I mentioned in some other article that values are tied closely to emotions. What this means is that the more well-defined and detailed your values become, the easier it will be for you to fail yourself or for others to fail you. When either of those things happen, the Fi user gets hurt or disappointed. Ergo, in a certain sense, the higher an Fi user’s standards get, the more likely they are to be an internal raging ball of emotion. Inversely, an Fi with lower standards will not struggle as much in this regard.

Since they are “feelers”, does this mean they will express their emotion openly? No. (Have I mentioned that I hate the dichotomy labels?) Does it mean that they’ll flippantly share their emotions with anyone? No. An Fi user does not lightly share their emotions with anyone. An Fi user who has never been hurt might be more open with their emotions, but your standard Fi user is going to keep their more intimate emotions hidden, so as not to appear vulnerable or weak. However, you may see that emotional intensity leak out on occasion when they are defending an ideal or belief, but that will be more akin to obstinance or passion. An Fi user who is truly comfortable or confident in themselves may allow themselves to open up on a more personal level, but that is not necessarily going to be natural for them. Extreme emotional displays on the part of an Fi user is a mark of immaturity, not who they are by nature.

The main reason for the “emo” stereotype is all tied into this. When they are hurt, Fi users withdraw to sort through their emotions and possibility re-evaluate. An Fi user, that gets hurt over and over again or sees people constantly disappointing them, may eventually disassociate from people altogether, and take on this “I don’t need people” mentality. It may appear Ti or Te in nature, but there will be an intensity behind their mentality that is not normal for a natural Thinker, because it has probably been made into a core value. An Fi user in this state will not necessarily go “emo” or get hyper-emotional. They are more likely to grow cold, taking on the appearance of a Te user in certain respects. They’ll view all people in a harsh, negative light, and probably won’t struggle to state these jaded opinions out loud or even directly to someone’s face.

To close out this section, let me say this. I will never claim that Fi users are not “emotional”, because they are. But, I will add that Thinkers, despite what they want you to believe, do not have a better grasp on their emotions, and are certainly not as unemotional as they pretend to be.

6. Fi users cannot be smart or logical

Another ridiculous assumption. I’ve said it a million times already, but I’ll say it once again: intelligence has nothing to do with personality type. In fact, one’s ability to reason has nothing to do with type. (My Fi dominant sister is very intelligent.) HOW you reason is the question, not whether or not you are able. Some thinkers out there get so high minded and arrogant in their supposed ability to reason that convincing them of even the most rational thing is a futile effort. But to focus this back on Fi users, let me state plainly that Fi users are fully capable of calm, rational discussions. Just because they prioritize feeling information does not mean they can’t be rational or use logical reason.

I like discussing personality theory. I like having nice, calm discussions of character types, function theory, and etc. So many people get all up in arms when you suggest an alternate perspective to, for instance, a character, because you are indirectly implying that they might be wrong. Pride then rears its ugly head. (Note: I’m not saying I’ve never been guilty of this.) It’s funny seeing a forum thread get locked down because two supposedly rational thinkers resorted to petty insults during their debate on a specific character. (Why does the character’s type matter? I mean, really? Why? Is your emotional well-being somehow tied to a certain character being, say, an INTJ? Who cares?!) Anyway, that mini rant aside, my favorite online person to discuss personality theory with these days is an INFP. ‘Nuff said.

In conclusion…

I hope you found this insightful. If I missed any obvious stereotypes, let me know!