2 Ways STPs and NFJs May Struggle to Communicate

This isn’t going to be a very long article. It’s just something STPs and NFJs that I know tend to struggle with (including myself), so I thought it was worth putting out there. It’s possible it can also be applied to high Ti users in general, but I haven’t specifically noticed that tendency in the NTPs. Quite the opposite in fact, because despite what mistypes would make you believe, the NTPs tend to thrive off of explaining since they fall on that Ne/Si axis. They may feel like they struggle with communication, but they can usually produce far more words in search for the most accurate phrasing. (Check IXTP/IXFP: Am I an N or an S?) You’re welcome to comment based on your experience.

1. STPs and NFJs struggle to articulate their thoughts

I have the hardest time explaining what is going on inside my head. Countless times, I’ll get to talking to people and attempt to explain something to them, and I just feel like a complete idiot. I have moments where I just want to say (and sometimes I do say) that “I swear I know what I’m talking about,” but I just struggle so badly getting that thought across. It’s on the tip of my tongue… but what is it?! What was that word again? What was I just thinking? How do I explain this? Maybe I’m just trying to explain a work-related process to a co-worker or explain a personality theory concept to someone… but I just struggle to get that understanding in my head translated into words. Sometimes, if the situation allows for it, I can just fall back on my Se and say, “Here, let me show you.” Unfortunately, that’s not always applicable to the scenario. I once actually had someone tell me “You’re so smart… but sometimes it’s like you’re so dumb.” -___- Thank you, kind sir. I feel great about myself now. >.>

It drives me crazy though, because I’ve always excelled at work, school, and just about anything I put my mind to. I can figure how to do just about anything, but if you make me go verbally explain something to someone, suddenly I’m grasping for words, stuttering, relying heavily on hand motions.. etc.

Typing myself as an ISTP (Ti-Se-Ni-Fe) actually helped explain this behavior to me though. Ti is an abstract, subjective thinking function that works basically like a jigsaw puzzle, and Ni is impressionistic. Ni users (high or low) don’t have the detailed memory of an Si user. This doesn’t mean that all Ni users have bad memories, but Ni users remember things in different ways. So if you merge Ti (an abstract thinking function), with Ni (the abstract internal perceiving function), you get a mind that naturally struggles to articulate even when they have a solid understanding. Set me down in front of something, and I can usually figure it out and do it, but make me explain it and it’s going to be a battle.

In a debate or discussion scenario, the issue is similar. I frequently discuss personality theory with my fellow co-author, Ryan. He’ll bounce ideas and thoughts off of me, and at times, I’ll hear certain things and the first thing I can muster is “something about that doesn’t seem right” or “I don’t think that makes sense.” And then I think… and think… and think… desperately searching for why my head is telling me that his idea or piece of information doesn’t fit. At first, this really confused Ryan (ISTJ over there) but he’s learned to be patient and wait for me to figure out how to articulate the thought. Of course, this ties right back to the Ti jigsaw puzzle and the Ni memory.

2. STPs and NFJs struggle to articulate their questions

In a similar fashion, I have always been terrible about asking questions. I can never seem to formulate questions until I go to do something, and find myself unable to do it. I’m betting high Ni users struggle a bit less with this because they’ll probably struggle less with conceptualizing, but maybe I’m wrong. Basically, I’ll go into that work meeting, nod my head like I understand everything, and then go off to work on it and hope for the best. Sometimes I just figure it all out, and sometimes I have to go back and pester people with some questions after the fact. I’ll get those.. ‘why didn’t you ask this during the meeting?’ looks. It usually always works out in the end. However, the real issue arrives when the scenario doesn’t allow for me to find the question via action.. In other words, during a more abstract discussion or during a situation in which I need to understand the message now.

When trapped in pure conversation or discussion, and someone is trying to get some point across for me and I actually feel the need to be able to follow them, I sometimes run into issues. I’ll be missing some basic key piece of information that is sometimes so simple that the other party hasn’t bothered to explain it outright. Unfortunately, I rarely know what exactly I’m missing… just that I’m missing something. I’ll end up throwing out the dumbest questions, even questions that I know the answer to, thinking that maybe that question will prompt the explanation that will fill in my missing gap.

Let’s go back to when Ryan is trying to explain something to me. As an Si-Te, he’s very straightforward and gives a lot of information in his explanations. Unfortunately though, sometimes he’ll skip my question, because it is so basic, and he’ll answer what he thinks I’m trying to ask. And then I end up giving him an exasperated, “No no, just answer the question that I asked.” He’ll give me an odd look, followed by the requested explanation, and then, if I’m lucky, my final missing piece will click into place. Piece of advice for types this may apply to (probably the Te folk): when a Ti asks a stupid question, just answer it. Seriously. We may know the answer already, but that’s not the point. We’re looking for something… we just don’t know what yet.

In conclusion…

That’s about all I got. If you want a deeper understanding of how Ni and Ti operate, you should check out Ryan’s article: Ti vs Ni: Am I an NJ or a TP? He does an excellent job explaining what these two functions are (and are not) at their core. Thanks for reading and I hope you found it at least somewhat interesting!